Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Inowownajacketfromthe eightiesmybestfriendinthisworldisleavingme&&somedayIwillbeanoncologistatprimarychildrens.Freedom.

As of Late

1. My best friend and I spent an entire day at Savers. We began at one end of the store and finished at the opposite end. I am talking short sleeved shirts, long sleeved, blazers, button ups, shorts, capris, jackets, coats, dresses, accessories, and finally, shoes. I have never been more ready for school clothing wise. ;)

2. I have been training since the beginning of the summer for the Hobble Creek Half Marathon that is coming up this Saturday! I can run 12.5 miles. It is totally empowering and I believe that every individual can and should run.

3. I am beginning the END! I am taking my cna (certified nurse assistant) and if all goes as planned all of my nerdy studying in the library will finally pay off and I will graduate with my Associates degree this year! Woot woot!

My two Best Friends are packing away their room's and heading away to college.

Aren't they beautiful? 
It is the strangest feeling watching them grow up and move on to big and better things. 
The one in the picture above has been my best friend since I was seven years old. We have been through it all together. Every single stage in life.  I can't believe she is leaving me. But it is time. And I am unbelievably excited for her.

(Excuse me for the choppy thought change here)

Everything I want has changed ..
I couldn't tell you precisely what it is that I want. I just know that I haven't encountered it quite yet.
As dismal as this fact could potentially be, it brings me to an entire new realization of the incredible amount of possibilities that lay just ahead of me. At the edge of my finger tips. I feel as though the world is something new, something that I have only begun to taste!
My soul is free.
I, am free.
I am finally able to say this in all honesty.  I listen to a few incredible individuals that surround me, and I am able to empathize in ways I never knew I was capable of. I know the bitter taste of disappointment watching another girl fit into the arms of the one that has held you so many nights in the past.
I can empathize to that. I know the empty filling that falls into the pit of your stomach right before you fall asleep and in the few moments that you wake up in the mornings. I know the weekends of love movies, chocolate ice cream, pages and pages of scrawled journal writings, and that awful fake feeling of attempting to act happy, pretending like you are okay, when in reality you have never felt more needy, alone, and pathetically and inwardly depressed.
Why do we make fun of girls who are emotional over boys, who overreact to a situation?
We all have been stalled in that exact position, or will be at some point in our lives.
If you are at a stalled point in your journey.
Do not worry.
Be stalled. Sulk and sit FEEL. Lick the dust beneath you until your throat is coated in sad, sad, PATHETIC dirt and then swim in that very dirt. Wallow in it. Cry your sweet little eyes out until you feel as though you have no water left in you.
Despite what High School will tell you about being "chill" and whatnot. Really, it is okay to feel.
And when you feel as though you are ready, pick yourself up, dust off, sniffle a bit, and begin your journey again.
Your life is waiting for you. (You'd be surprised)

-au revoir


  1. give credit where credit is due. who told you about savers.

  2. Dear Rachel Stewart,
    Someday, I wanna be just like you.
    I've dreamed that since the seventh grade when we met.
    *I really really have.*
    Will you teach me how to be cool, and be sweet.
    And to be strong through trials?
    Because you've obviously excelled in all of those.
    Much love & excitedness to see you in highschool,
    Your little orphan friend.