Anyway.

It really was a nasty little cut, a snag from a barbed wire fence. It carefully picked up the pink of my skin, and ripped through the leather of July hands.

I licked the blood off of my finger that day.

I like blood.

It means that something inside of me, something inside of you, is alive.

I want to create for you something, beautiful.

 I want you taste the iron of my blood. Literally. I want it to melt onto the tip of your tongue and pour out of your ears.

I want to create for you something beautiful. Something inspiring. Something real. 

I want to write.

I take it back. I don't want to write. I want to paint words. Paint something alive, please. Something that will decompose beneath your soul and set you

  free.

Something freaking worth the five minutes you spend staring at the blunt white of a computer screen.

But before I write something, I want to be something.

I want to be something beautiful.

 I want to be something honest.

I want to be someone real. 

 I want to be someone worth knowing. 

Someone freaking worth the five minutes you spend staring at the blunt white of a computer screen. 

That's what I am thinking about when I am quiet.

I think, how can I be,

well, how can I be someone,

someone I can live with. someone who actually likes what is left after a hot shower washing away the make up and all of your hipster music.

I'd like to be someone I like, 

before I keep on trying to be someone you like.  

Because, you know. If you really knew me. That is to say, if I really knew me, I think you'd like that more. 

April 23rd, 2012. Finally ready for something new.

Halfway finished. Sanding the edges tomorrow!

This is my beautiful mom. She has been in the hospital all week. I never realized how much I took her for granted, you know?

Thank you, for everything. You truly are my best friend, and I will always love you.  I can't believe we are graduating this year!!

It's all happening so fast.

--Rachael Cherish.