Friday, March 2, 2012

I Am.

I am the pressure of a backpack sliding against my arm in the hallways of American Fork high school. I am the fulfillment of creating something, a group of fifty, a spontaneous, choreographed dance number in the midst of lunch trays’ and cliques: our first Flash Mob ever. I am a Certified Nursing Assistant. I am a name badge in scrubs at an old folk’s home, the wrinkles of her hand and the warmth of her smile making even the most impossible day possible. I am the rhythmic impact of my tennis shoes as they hit the pavement, the weight of my aunt’s seven month old baby cradled into my arms. I am the red of the A on a spirit t-shirt during the finale against Lone Peak.I am the empty space above the rim filled with, "I BELIEVE IN A.F! I BELIEVE IN A.F!" I am the tart of mom’s homemade ice cream cooling my tongue, the way the light blankets my lawn right before sunset. I am a student body officer, and more than just a sweater. I am miracles. I am 5,555.32 dollars raised in two weeks, and the way those 12 homes lit up that cold, Christmas night. I am a head nurse at Primary Children’s Oncology department … someday. I am "believe in the beauty of your dreams." I am "Why do you want to go to Dixie State Rachael?" and, "It just feels right Dad".
But you see, I am not going to remember any of that. 

I am your laughter ringing through the air, these past four years etching the sound into every inch of my throat. I am that very first day, forever burned into my memory. Crooked teeth, warm eyes, the reflection of the snow casting light onto every freckle, every detail of your face.  I am the space between us for those first three months. We didn't touch.  Not at all. We took the time to know. You found your way into my brain, and I yours. Your voice, your gentleness, your patience, your intuition, counteracted with my passion, my energy, my light, perfectly. Together, we balanced. Together, we created something. I don't really care what people say about love in high school. High school is almost over anyway. I am that three word sentence written all over every aspect of my life last night, right this very second, and every moment of tomorrow.
I am you.
And I am so, happy.


  1. this is beautiful rachel. really is. posts like these make me glad and proud of how i creepily stalk your blog.

  2. I am your best friend.
    And I approve.

  3. you're too good for this blogging world. beaaautiful.